You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
