I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
