Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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