I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My bed smells like the plague
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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