she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
