So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize