Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
