Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm bleeding and have questions
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
