you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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