so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
