I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
