We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
