If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
