How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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