she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
