so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
