Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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