the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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