I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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