Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
