Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
