so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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