the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
