And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
