Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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