In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize