yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
