First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
