So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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