and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
