doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
