new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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