Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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