I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
