Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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