Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
