sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
