idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
