It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
