No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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