Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
