i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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