all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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