he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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