I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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