Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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