o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize