I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
