Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
