This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
