planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
