I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
