Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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