Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
