This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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