My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize