is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
