Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My pussy is not your playground.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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