You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
