How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
