Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
