Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
