found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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