It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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