Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
