saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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